


To Be of Assistance

by Kingdom_of_icesolation



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Elsanna - Freeform, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:18:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingdom_of_icesolation/pseuds/Kingdom_of_icesolation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU: Anna is Elsa's Personal Assistant... Need I say more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anna

"Elsa, your coff-…"

"Yeah, yeah just set it down over there"

Yup. She hates me. For sure. Two months I've been working here, bringing her coffee, printing her documents, and not once have I heard so much as a thank you. I mean yeah I've made a couple of mistakes in my first week but all in all I've caught on pretty quickly and yet she still treats me like I've set fire to her house when truth be told all I really want is to set fire to her loins...wait what?

"Anna?"

Oh no. How long have I been standing here?

"Anna..? Is there something else?"

Well what are you waiting for, say something, doofus!

"Ugh…"

Way to go smartypants! I said say something, not fucking grunt like a baboon. Do baboons even grunt though? Oh god Anna focus!

"N-no, Elsa…sorry I'll go now"

"Oh and Anna, don't forget to hand me the documents for the meeting this afternoon"

"I'll get them right away, Elsa"

I'll get them right away, Elsa. Jeez, why do I even take this treatment from her? Oh right, because she's gorgeous as fuck and I want nothing more than to get in her pants. I sure know how to pick 'em don't I?

The one thing she did allow of me (and only me) was to enter her office without knocking. Apparently she "simply doesn't have the time to politely say 'come in' 823762819 times a day". I stepped into her office as quietly as I could knowing how annoyed she'd get with any unnecessary noise. She was busy typing on her laptop, her platinum blonde hair bunched up messily into a bun, face puckered in concentration. Adorable.

Click click click click click click click click click

Her fingers were effortlessly flying off the keys which naturally got me wondering what else those fingers were capable of doing. Also by naturally I mean inappropriately, and by inappropriately I mean honestly it's what runs through my mind 60% of the day which makes up to about 14.4 hours spent thinking/daydreaming/fantasizing about the possible finesse of my boss's perfectly manicured fingers.

"Elsa, here are the documents you asked for"

Without even bothering to look up at me, she gestured to the corner of the desk with her hand.

"You're welcome" I muttered sardonically under my breath.

Her head shot up so quickly I'm surprised her neck was still attached to her body, "Excuse me?"

Cripes. So much for muttering under my breath. Good going, four for you, Anna, you go, Anna!

"If you have something to say to me, Anna, now's the time to say it"

It's not like she had exceptionally big eyes, but she was widening them now which made them seem huge to me. Her irises (which are as blue as the fucking ocean by the way) were wholly visible now, and though this made her 100 times more attractive, it was also scaring me shitless.

"I…it's just that…well…what have I done wrong, Elsa? I mean I do my work, and I do it well enough but nothing seems to please you! I'm not really asking for much, just a thank you now and again, or a 'hey Anna, you're not that big of a screw up' would be nice too! But nooo! Day in and day out you treat me like I'm dog poop you stepped on in the morning. Why is that…?!"

Dead silence. Uh-oh you've gone done it now, Anna. My heart was in my throat and my stomach was where my heart used to be. I don't know where I was getting all this courage from to firstly, say those words, and to now be staring straight into those pools of blue piercing right into my very soul like daggers. Then as if I wasn't in enough shock from my random burst of fearlessness, Elsa's lips curled into a smile.

That's perfect. Not only is the object of my infatuation a scary-ass lady with so many pet peeves it would come in several volumes of books if published in written form, she's also completely insane!

"Take a seat Anna" she motioned to the 'guest chair' in front of her desk, still smiling.

I cautiously took a seat waiting for the bomb to drop. She shouldn't be this calm. This doesn't make any sense.

"Finally, Anna! I've been waiting for this moment!" That confirms it then; she's batshit crazy.

She stood up from her chair and smoothed down her pencil skirt. Jesus fucking Christ, it should be illegal for anyone to look that good in a pencil skirt and blouse.

"I haven't been mean to you because I think you're incapable, Anna. You're the best personal assistant I've had…ever!"

She plopped herself up on her desk, her long smooth ivory legs just hanging over the desk before me as if screaming, "HEY ANNA TRY TO FOCUS WHILE STARING AT THIS LOL!" Her skirt only rode up to her knees but damn those were sexy kneecaps.

"I've only been tough on you because I wanted you to know that this is the real world, people are going to be hard on you, demand things of you and not everyone is going to be kind and appreciative about it…but you just have to blah blah blah…"

I knew she was speaking, but her words slowly became muffled when I realized how sheer her white blouse was and how close she was moving towards me. Standing up, she reached out and placed her hands on the wooden armrests of my chair.

"Anna? Are you listening?"

Her face was just inches from mine now and her breath smelled faintly of coffee and mints. It took me a while to realize I had stopped breathing; the duration of which I had stopped breathing, however, was unknown to me.

Some demon must have possessed me at that moment in time (I highly suspect it was Asmodeus) because I found myself pulling Elsa in and catching her lips with mine. Before I could over analyze the situation and regret my actions, Elsa parted her lips and inhaled deeply, the sound of it causing butterflies in my stomach to go completely berserk.

Leaning in closer, Elsa deepened the kiss and I felt her hot, moist tongue exploring the inner recesses of my mouth. She pushed me lower into the chair as she brought her legs up and straddled me, her groin pressing against mine. Holy shit this feels so good. I broke the kiss and traced kisses along her jaw, moving towards her neck. I nipped at her neck lightly at first but then a soft guttural moan came from Elsa and that was when I lost all self-control (well, whatever minimal self-control I had left at least).

Digging my fingers into her hips (oh those hips) I pulled her in even closer, feeling the warmth of her center on mine. My hands traveled further down south to find the hem of her skirt and pushed it up, exposing Elsa's creamy white thighs. I teasingly caressed her inner thighs hoping to elicit that beautiful moan from her again; what I got was even better.

"Oh Anna!" she whimpered next to my ear, "Please!"

Wow, how did I get from worrying why this woman hated me so much to this? The better question is why am I even thinking of ironies when I have a gorgeous blonde who would put Aphrodite's beauty to shame straddling me and ohhhhh…

"Do you like that Anna?"

She growled in my ear, playfully sucking on my earlobe.

"And are your hands just going to stop there?"


	2. Anna

"Well someone's been excited to get to work lately…"

I looked up from my plate, mouth filled with toast, to see my roommate staring at me questioningly. I tried to answer her but instead of words; crumbs flew out of my mouth. Her expression changed from one of curiosity and doubt to just plain disgust.

"You could at least TRY to not act like a cave person Anna!" Meg hissed, brushing the crumbs off her arm.

After what seemed like a quarter past forever, I finally managed to swallow my breakfast. Be nonchalant about this, Anna, Meg would see right through you if you screw this up.

"Excited? Why would I be excited? Pssh, I mean who could I be excited to see at work? My boss? Ha ha ha! No way oh god Meg what are you even hinting at…? Okay I have to leave now or I'll be late, see you tonight. Bye!" I gave her a quick peck on the cheek, grabbed my bag and rushed out the door.

Note to self: Get a dictionary, look up the actual meaning of 'nonchalant' and then smack yourself with it. Ugh. Meg's probably going to pull the "I-can-raise-an-eyebrow-and-stare-at-you-condescendingly-until-you-spill-all-your-secrets-whereas-when-you-try-to-do-it-you-look-like-a-botoxed-cow" treatment tonight at dinner. I can hardly wait.

 

* * *

 

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

The clock on the wall above my desk was mocking me, and I spent about five minutes having a pretty elaborate argument with it.

"Fineeee! I'm sorry Mr. Clock, I'm not angry with you, it's not really your fault that time is moving so slowly today…"

So this is what I've been reduced to- arguing with an inanimate object that can't even stand up for itself. Seriously though it is way past lunch time, how long can one meeting take?

All morning I had only seen a 5-second glimpse of Elsa as she entered the meeting room. Granted, even a glimpse of her was an eyeful. When they say 'less is more' I'm quite certain they were referring to Elsa in a pantsuit. Though she could probably wear a potato sack and still look sexy.

It's been two weeks since that day in her office and we've been sneaking around, hiding in janitor closets, and stealing quick kisses when no one was around every single day since then. Basically we've been acting like a couple of teenagers trying not to get caught doing the do. It's been 14 days; 14 days of touching Elsa, kissing Elsa, feeling Elsa writhe in pleasure against me and it's been great but a part of me ached for more.

"Thank you gentlemen, we look forward to doing business with you." Elsa's voice brought me out of my reverie.

As soon as the men were out of sight, Elsa glanced my way then went straight for her office. Alright! It's go time! Wow okay, that line should really be kept solely for movies; I just sounded like a total loser…which isn't really a rare thing when I think about it.

Focus, Anna!

My stomach was doing somersaults at the thought of finally getting some time with Elsa. I opened the door to find her in a frantic mess. Her phone was clamped between her ear and her shoulder while her hands were busy shuffling documents in and out of their respective folders. I was thinking of something better her hands could be busy doing instead.

She looked up, pushing her thick blonde hair out of her face with one hand and motioning for me to close the door with the other. She was speaking fluent Norwegian to the person on the other end of the phone. Yes, aside from being incredibly intelligent, out-of-this-world gorgeous and a sex goddess, Elsa was also fluent in five different languages. The brilliance of this woman knows no bounds.

"Anna? ANNA!"

Whoops.

"What is it? What do you need?"

You.

"I was hoping we could go grab lunch…there's this great place I found the other da-"

"Anna! Do I look like I have the time for lunch right now?" She spat, gesturing to the bedlam that was her office desk.

"I don't mean right this instance, but later when you're not busy" I flashed her the cutest grin I could muster though I'm sure I came off looking like a creepy donkey instead.

She shot me such an exasperated look, I felt like a silly 6-year-old, "I can't, I'm busy all day. So if there's nothing else, I really have to get back to this crap"

"Okay…bye" I began, but she was already on another business call and looking through a whole new set of folders.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day went on uneventfully but at least I managed to cut my pile of paperwork by half. The things I can accomplish when I'm not busy frick-fracking with my boss. That isn't to say I never thought about Elsa all day. I understand she was busy, and I don't blame her but the way she dismissed me earlier today still left me feeling lower than a centipede's bellybutton.

I was too busy making copies and having a pity party for myself that I didn't even realize the presence looming behind me. Milky white hands brushed my arms making their way over to intertwine their fingers with mine.

"Hey" she whispered into my ear.

I scanned around the office in panic. There was no one around and half the lights were turned off. Whoa, when did that happen?

"Relax, snowflake, everyone has gone home" she assured me, pulling our interlocked arms in, draping it over my midriff; her warm embrace removing all negative feelings that plagued me the whole afternoon.

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch earlier, it looks like I have some making up to do" she purred, nipping lightly at my nape.

"Well," I drawled, "Technically you have been a bitch for the past two months, sooo…that will be a lot of making up to do"

"In that case, I better get started then"

She spun me around and drew me in, kissing me with a fierce hunger that made my knees buckle. Our tongues wrestled, fighting to keep dominance over the other in a match that would put the WWE championship to shame.

Ooof! I felt my back pushed hard against the wall. She slid her thigh between my legs, the contact of which made me moan into her mouth.

"God…I missed you today Anna" she growled, leaving tiny bites along my jaw line.

"I missed you toooo...ooohhh!"

The touch of her cold hand on my bare midriff made my breath hitch. Her hand quickly made its ascend, and slipped itself under my bra. Holy mother of Elsa! I needed her in me, and I needed her in me now!

As if reading my mind her free hand started to unbutton my pants. I pulled her in, scratching her arms and shoulders, needing to fill whatever minimal distance that was between us.

"Elsa please…I want you…I need you" I panted, the heaving of my chest getting faster and faster.

Her long, slender fingers slid into the slick wetness of my womanhood. I buried my face into her neck trying to muffle the screams of pleasure escaping my lips. I bucked my hips towards her, and we soon found a rhythm which ultimately led to my release.

Collapsed against each other on the office floor (which I'm aware isn't hygienic at all but after a few rounds of rough lovemaking one doesn't really care), I carelessly traced patterns on her bare arm with my finger.

"I'd like to take you out on a date this weekend"

"What?" She said sitting up, staring at me incredulously as if I just suggested we murder the Pope.

Perplexed about her reaction, I sat up as well, "A date? You know, go out together, get some food, and maybe watch a movie. Is this not a familiar concept to you?"

"I know what a date is, Captain Obvious but…why would you want us to go on one?"

Clearly the idea of going out on a date with me had upset Elsa but I couldn't understand why. And for some reason her getting upset was making me upset…and I couldn't understand why that was either.

"We're just fooling around, Anna!"

I knew I had no right to feel angry/sad/disappointed/a myriad of fucking feelings, I mean she's right; we've just been fooling around. It's been nothing more than some scandalous office affair, but her words had cut me deep and I couldn't stop myself from acting unreasonable and being a whiny bitch.

"Is that all you think of me, Elsa? Some silly tryst at work to fulfill whatever fantasy scenario you have cooked up in your head?"

Why are you even raising your voice, Anna? Stop it before you make a bigger fool of yourself!

But of course it's me, and I can't shut up until I've truly embarrassed myself by being as pathetically desperate as possible…

"…is that all I'll ever be to you?"


	3. Elsa

"…is that all I'll ever be to you?"

_No_

"Yes…"

_Liar_

"What were you expecting, Anna, for us to hold hands and walk into the sunset? We were just fooling around!"

Yes, say it a couple more times, Elsa, just in case she didn't hear you before.

"I know! I know that's all it's been okay, I…I just thought maybe there could be…more" she said, almost imploringly.

"Well it can't!" I yelled, sounding harsher than I intended to.

I was losing control over my emotions and had to escape before it got worse. Doing up the button on my pants, I scrambled out the door before Anna could utter another word. The distance to my car felt exceptionally long and trying to walk quickly in high heels didn't help at all.

That went well. Good going, Drama Queen. Anna's probably confused over my melodramatic reaction to her merely  _asking me out on a date_. Heck, even I'm confused about my little "show" back there. I know I'm scared of coming out of the closet but I didn't realize I was so deep in the goddamn closet that I'm practically hanging out with the White Witch in Narnia.

I didn't get too far before I parked my car by the side of some street and lit up a cigarette. Ugh, these things are awful, I thought as I took another long pull. How am I even going to deal with this tomorrow at work? I can't possibly avoid my personal assistant, can I? I brought the cigarette to my lips for one last drag before flicking it out of the rolled down window.

I really should quit this bad habit, I told myself, lighting up another stick.

* * *

Have you ever wanted to avoid someone so badly, and yet at the same time took every opportunity to sneak a peek at them? If I had to come up with a tagline for today, that would be it.

I kept to my office as much as I could, heart rate increasing every time someone knocked on the door thinking that it could be Anna. After several false alarms I remembered that, as per my request, Anna would not knock on my door before entering and realized I had put myself close to a hundred panic attacks the whole afternoon for nothing. Of course, there were the necessary meetings I could not dodge and those walks between my office and the various meeting rooms were the windows of opportunity for me to steal glances at Anna.

She had her strawberry blond hair in pigtails today. She knew of my weakness for her in pigtails after I casually mentioned it last week. Some nerve she had to use it against me! I could hardly focus on anything all day. I was frustrated with her for using such cheap tricks, and then I grew even more frustrated with myself because something as minute as that had the power to get me so undone. It shouldn't be surprising though considering how she got the job in the first place…

* * *

I had narrowed it down to three applicants, all of whom were fresh out of school. As strange as it might sound, I've always had a preference for hiring those without any prior work experience whatsoever. It's like working with a blank canvas, one that hasn't been spoiled by the ugly realities of the working world yet. My last personal assistant worked for me straight out of university, and she was more than I could have ever asked for. When she tendered her resignation to further her studies it was such a huge loss for me to see her go.

The first applicant had a Bachelor's in Business Studies. Anna Kristiansen.

_Knock knock_

Ah, right on time. Punctuality? Check!

"Come in"

As cliché as this is going to sound, Anna took my breath away as soon as I laid eyes on her. She was in a frilly white blouse and a sleek pair of black work pants; I've always been a firm believer of the saying, "simplicity is the ultimate sophistication". Her hair was in a very neat, tight bun; very professional looking, though I couldn't decide what color her hair was. It was intriguing. It's auburn, I thought. It also looks a little light brown. Nope, auburn. Definitely auburn.

"Good afternoon, Miss Elsa. I'm Anna. Thank you for taking the time to see me." She shook my hand and bowed meekly.

I offered her a seat and began asking her questions about herself. She seemed so nervous at first but as the interview went on she eased into the conversation and I couldn't help but to think she was the most adorable person on earth. The interview stretched on for 30 minutes which I hadn't even noticed. What I did notice was that her hair wasn't auburn after all, it was strawberry blonde. I also noticed how bright her beautiful teal eyes were, and how badly I wanted to kiss her pretty pink lips.

Eventually, the interview came to an end. We shook hands once more and she flashed a big toothy grin while thanking me again; the same grin that still gets my knees weak and jelly-like. The two other interviews lasted 10 minutes each. Truth be told I could not hold my attention on them 3/4 of the time. My mind was preoccupied thinking about Anna.  _Anna._  Even her name rolls off my tongue so perfectly and I kept repeating it in my head over and over imagining myself moaning it out loud.  _Anna._

Needless to say, there was no question about who I would be hiring. I had known it as soon as she walked in. And as much as I knew I could not by any means have any relations with her aside from a professional one, I thought there to be no harm in having an intelligent and bubbly personal assistant around. Her being so gorgeous was just a bonus.

* * *

_Knock knock_

The sudden knock on the door made my heart jump. Ugh, who could it be now?

"Who is it…?" I drawled lazily.

My eyes widened and I sat up straight as Anna poked her head through the small crack of the door.

"Hi, may I come in?"

Wow. She actually felt the need to knock on my door.

"Yeah, sure, but make it quick I have something on in a short while"

_Liar liar pants on fire!_

"Okay…I just wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. It was uncalled for."

_No, I'm sorry, Anna_

"I mean…honestly, I don't understand what got you so upset, but it doesn't matter, you don't have to explain yourself. I see where I stand now, and I'm sorry for being a total ditz and reading too much into everything. I had no right to make you feel obligated to do anything, so again, I'm sorry."

I wish she'd stop apologizing. I should be the one doing so! I should be the one telling her how sorry I am that I'm so afraid to let my true feelings show, how sorry I am for being too scared to take the next step even if it's as small as going on a date with her, how sorry I am that I worry too much about what people around me might say; how sorry I am that fear has such a strong hold on me and that I just can't let it go!

"Oh okay"

_OH OKAY? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, ELSA?_

"…so that's all you have to say? Nothing more?"

_TELL HER THE TRUTH! TELL HER!_

"Yeah, that's all"

_COWARD_

"Is there anything else, Anna? If there isn't I need to get going now"

_HOW ABOUT JUST STICKING A FORK IN HER EYE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT_

"No, th-that's all. I…I'll leave you alone"

As soon as the door clicked close, I buried my face in my hands feeling like the world's biggest asshole. Oh god, I'm so sorry, Anna…

* * *

Finishing off a drag, I flicked it into the bin and dragged my sorry self into the elevator of my apartment building. It was late, I was tired, and I barely had the energy to fish my keys out of my bag which seemed like a labyrinth at that point in time. After the emotional rollercoaster that was today, I wanted nothing more than to slump myself on my bed, wrap myself with my blanket and drift off into a dreamless sleep.

I assured myself that it was the end of the day, and so there was no possibility of it getting any worse. It appears I spoke too soon…

What the hell is  _he_  doing here?


	4. Anna

It was torture. Every minute of this week had been nothing but torture. I've apologized and tried to talk things out but what did she do? She turned into the bristly snow queen all over again! Talk about giving someone the cold shoulder! Every time we're in the same room together you could turn off the AC and it would still be freezing.

I was tired of pretending to be okay with the "arrangement" she agreed upon. I didn't want it to be over but I was at my wit's end. What else can you do when the feelings you have for someone aren't reciprocated?

Here I sit in this boring white-walled room, attending a boring meeting, thinking of ways to win Elsa over…and so far, I've come up with nothing. Zilch! Zero! Nada! And there she sits next to me being all high and mighty and beautiful and perfect seemingly unbothered by my presence much unlike how bothered I was with hers.

We've attended a few meetings together this week and sitting next to her (being her PA and all) never got any easier. Each time I glanced her way I'd catch her staring at me, and then she'd look away immediately; each time she glanced my way she'd catch me staring at her, I'd smile, then she'd look away immediately. It was so frustrating I felt like throwing apples at everyone attending the meetings just to let off some steam.

"Anna, you printed out the report right?" Elsa whispered, leaning in close enough to make my heart beat on turbo mode.

I slid the report to her not saying a word knowing that my attempts at whispering don't usually go too well.

"Thanks" she whispered again, reaching out for the piece of document, her hand accidentally (or maybe purposely) brushing lightly against mine.

She didn't pull her hand back immediately. 5 seconds passed. My breathing was getting erratic just from the touch of her skin.

_Oh my god oh my god oh my god. We're actually sharing physical contact. Is this a dream? Nobody wake me or I'll smack a lute in your face._

Geez, I have to calm down. It was only her fingers on my hand, hardly something to pop champagne over. I turned my head slightly and saw Elsa shutting her eyes then quickly opening them up again, taking a deep breath before pulling her hand and the report away from me. For a moment there it looked like…nah it can't be. She has made it pretty clear how she feels about me. I'm probably imagining things. Right?

* * *

Keeping things professional around the workplace was hard. We found ourselves alone in her office on a regular occasion. The urge to pull her in or push her against the wall and take her right there and then was so strong I feel I should receive some sort of award for successfully restraining myself.

There was a lot more than just the sex that I missed though. I missed holding her in my arms, breathing her in, and just feeling the warmth of her against me. In those moments I felt so…safe; like nothing could hurt me because I had her there with me. It sounds so lame when I think about it that way but I can't fully explain how Elsa made me feel in those 14 days.

Though if we're going to be technical about this, my feelings for Elsa have been building up over the course of two months, and when at long last I got to  _get there_  with her it was like finding an oasis after being stuck in a desert for too long. Unfortunately while I was having all these deep emotions, Elsa felt nothing close. It was purely just sex for her. Which I really shouldn't complain about, I mean, she kept coming (pardon the pun) back for more so I assume I fricked her a good frack.

But still in such instances where we found ourselves alone in her office, it was almost physically painful to pretend everything was well in the world when clearly it was nowhere near it. If "well" was in the North Pole, Elsa and I were in the South Pole. Elsa was much better at acting professional than I was. I can't say I'm surprised.

Firstly, for two months she successfully put on an act of the "Bitchy Boss" without me realizing she was doing so only to teach me life lessons the hard way, so evidently she's a good actress. And more importantly, only one between us got hurt in this and that person definitely isn't a blonde. Naturally, the "hurter" would be less affected than the "hurtee".

"Hey, doll, can you direct me to Elsa's office? She's expecting me." A stranger's deep voice broke off my little "Feel Sorry for Anna" moment.

"Um…can I get your name please?"

"Oh she knows I'm coming, just lead me to her and I'll be out of your hair, Fancy Face" he winked, his overconfidence threatening to burst at the seams.

"It's protocol," I said, annoyance brewing within me, "I need to check with Elsa first before I let anyone into her off-"

"Anna, it's alright," Elsa's voice appeared out of nowhere. "This way, Hans…" she motioned to the cocksure stranger to follow her.

Hans winked at me again before following Elsa. He grabbed her waist as they walked into her office, the sight of which made me itch on the inside.  _Click_. I heard the lock of Elsa's door. Strange. She never locks her office door. Never.

_Hans_. Just his name alone leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. What a self-righteous tool. I try my best to not judge people before getting to know them, but this guy! He might as well put up a flashy sign above his head with the words "MISOGYNISTIC ASSHOLE" on it.

He was dressed to the nines and didn't look like any potential business partner we've ever had walk in here. Most men the company does business with come in their usual suits and ties. This Hans fellow struts in here with pants so tight they hug his legs like a hungry python strangling its prey and a jacket that looks like one of Michael Jackson's rejects.

But if he isn't here to do business, what is he here for then?

Being in charge of Elsa's professional and personal schedule planning, I'm pretty much aware of her social circle (which isn't very big to begin with). So of course when this arrogant son of a bitch I've never heard of walks in, touches her too intimately for my liking, and stays in her locked office for an hour, I get a little antsy.

Hmm, this uneasiness crawling under my skin, is this…jealousy? 


	5. Elsa

What did I ever see in this guy? I mean there had to be something right? Because all I see before me right now is an annoying pain in the ass! Well, thinking back, he wasn't that much different back in college when we dated. Can't say the same about his dressing though, that part of him has definitely changed drastically. Seriously, who wears such flashy jackets for no particular occasion?

And wow, how long has he been talking?

"Hans! We've been through this! I don't have the money!"

"Oh come on, Elsie…look at this place you're running! You're telling me you don't have a little stash of cash somewhere? I'll pay you back; you know I'm good for it" he winked.

I hated it when he did that. I heaved a deep sigh, rubbing my temples with my thumbs, thinking of ways to knock some sense into this dumbass's head.

"Firstly, don't call me Elsie. You were never able to pull it off, and you never will so stop it. Secondly, two hundred thousand dollars is NOT a little stash of cash, Hans! And most importantly, no. No I do not know that you're good for it. In fact, I know very well that you are NOT good for it. So for the last time, please, please just go away and leave me alone!"

I wasn't even angry with Hans for coming to see me  _again_  to ask for the money. I was too exhausted to feel angry. Hell I was too exhausted to feel exhausted if that even makes any sense. I just wanted the week to end, and I found myself wishing for Anna to be with me right now. She had a way of making me feel better without even trying; she was my sunshine…

Oh no wait, I forgot; no, she's not. Not anymore. Now she's like a fucking storm cloud that constantly reminds me of my stupidity. You have no right to miss her, Elsa, you "ended" it, remember? This is entirely your fault! If you weren't such a wuss none of this would have happened! I mean Hans would probably still be here asking for an impossibly large sum of money, but I wouldn't be as miserable if I knew that Anna was waiting for me after this long and unnecessary "meeting".

Hans was talking again. He had been talking for the past few minutes while I was too preoccupied with my thoughts. I hadn't been listening but I bet my bottom dollar that he's still trying to convince me to lend him the money I don't have.

I felt like a broken tape recorder that kept repeating, "I don't have the money, Hans. I don't have the money, Hans. I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, HANS!" Though, even if I did have the money I sure as hell wouldn't be lending it to him.

It was back in my first year at college that I met Hans. He was a senior, one of those typical frat boys- one with an elaborate reputation who still manages to rope the chicks in. Anyway I was gay as a summer's day is long, and I've known it since I was 14 when I fell head over heels in love with my English teacher (who was sadly 20 years older and married), but something about Hans caught my attention.

He was attractive (attractive enough to successfully pull off sideburns), smart, and very, very popular. I figured he was the best insurance I could get to avoid being "outed"; also if I were to pretend to be straight, why not do it with someone prettier than half the girls on campus right? I realize now how young and stupid I was but hey, it was college, most of our biggest mistakes were made there. And more often than not, those mistakes begin with a college party…

* * *

Everywhere I turned there were wasted freshmen; some were puking, either in the waste baskets or the lawn, and others were passed out on the couch or the floor. It was 2am, and I was getting bored. Two out of the group I went with were hooking up, one was out cold on the stairs, and I lost track of the last one. Quite frankly I couldn't give a damn even if I tried. They weren't really my friends, just a bunch of freshmen I met at orientation and hung out with so I wouldn't be so lonely.

I also couldn't care less about them because it was late and I was getting irritable. I hadn't seen Hans all night. Operation "Seduce the Douche" was terribly delayed! I was about to give up and go home but then I noticed a very cute and very drunk senior staring at me from the next room. I avoided eye contact with her at all cost but that didn't stop her from walking over.

"You're really, really preeeeeeetty" she slurred, her face mere inches from mine, filling my nose with the distinctive stench of vodka.

"Thank you" I said, giving her a slight nod.

I turned my head away because one, I was very attracted to her and was getting nervous by how close her face was to mine, and two, the smell of alcohol on her breath was overwhelming. She leaned in, buried her face into my neck, and took a long and exaggeratedly loud whiff.

"And you smmmell…so…pretty toooo...mmmm" she whispered, her mouth so close to my ear that her lips were touching my skin, "Now lettt me seeee if you taste just as gooood"

With that she grabbed the side of my face, her hands astoundingly strong for someone that drunk, and kissed me. Right in front of everyone. She pulled me in, trying to deepen the kiss but I was too stunned to reciprocate. I stood there like a statue while her tongue went every which way in my mouth. I felt eyes burning into my very soul. I couldn't take it anymore; I pushed her away and ran to the backyard.

I hid behind a bush to try and calm myself down away from the searing glares of everybody. My heart rate was on overdrive, I was hyperventilating, and the grey spots around me were starting to close in, compromising my vision. That was when I felt a hand on the crook of my arm…

"Whoa there, you alright, beautiful?"

I looked up and blinked a few times at the fuzzy image towering over me. I recognized him from his sideburns.

"Here, come on, let's sit you down somewhere" he said, gently pulling me across the lawn.

He led me to an area away from most people. I could smell grass so I knew we were still outside. Good. I would pass out if he had brought me back into the house with all those people. People who could have seen…oh god…I felt my chest tighten just thinking about the events that had played out just a few minutes ago.

"I'm going to let go of you for a while to grab some chairs, do you think you can stand on your own?"

I guess I nodded or said yes because he released his grip on my arm. I felt my body hitting the ground. Hard.

"Oh crap" were the last words I heard from him before I passed out.

* * *

"Elsa, are you even listening to me?"

"What? Oh you're still here… Look, I don't have the money. You're going to have to find some other ways to come up with it to save your sorry ass."

Before he could start talking again, I stood up, opened the door and pushed him out.

"Elsieee, come on! Pretty please?" he begged, giving me what he calls 'the smolder'. Like that ever works!

"Get out of here before I call security. And stop calling me Elsie!"

"Okay, okay, don't have to get your panties in a knot. I'll go."

I followed him from the back, just to make sure he really left.

"Bye, Elsie! Don't miss me too much!" he said, giving me that stupid wink of his again.

Ugh. No one and nothing could annoy me as much as that man does! Except maybe for this…

_Who is that chick, and why is she sitting on Anna's desk?_


	6. Anna

"…and then a kangaroo drove me to the beach to play ice hockey…"

"Oh okay, that's nice"

"Anna! Have you heard a single word I've said? What has captivated your attention so much that you're so rudely ignoring me…?"

I shifted Meg's head to face me again before she could see the blonde at the elevator who had "captivated my attention" standing a few feet behind her. Elsa pivoted on her heels and didn't look the least bit happy. I swear if that creep had upset her I would punch a hole in his face! Meg was continuing her story or maybe she was starting a new one, I couldn't be sure. I was too busy wondering what had pissed off Elsa that much.

_Wait. Uh-oh. Why is Elsa storming this way? And why does she look angry…with me?_

She stood over my cubicle, blocking the light like an eclipse with her tall stature, which stopped Meg midway of recounting her story about…was it a kangaroo on a beach or something like that?

Meg gave Elsa the once-over, and smirked, "Hi, I'm Megara, but my friends call me Meg" she said, offering a handshake.

"At least they would if she had any friends" I joked, trying to ease the now palpable tension that was looming.

"I'm Elsa," she replied, briskly returning Meg the handshake, completely ignoring my comment. "I didn't know we were having  _friends_  around the office now," she continued, a ghost of a smile spreading across her lips, her eyes still fixed on Meg.

"Oh…oh I'm so sorry, Elsa, I didn't know it was not allowed. I told Meg I'd go for lunch with her right after I got done with these documents. I promise I was just about to finish them, I-"

"It's okay, Anna."

The way she said it made me doubt that it was truly okay.

"You can finish the documents after lunch, don't worry your pretty little head over it," Elsa said, finally pulling her eyes away from Meg and cocking her head to my direction. Her lips were curled into a friendly smile but her eyes spelled D-E-A-T-H.

I was both scared and turned on at the same time. And also a little confused. Though that was nothing new; Elsa always left me feeling a little confused. Not that it's that difficult to confuse me. Meg does it on a regular occasion just for kicks. I guess she enjoys seeing me squirm in discomfort.

"Would you like to join us for lunch, Elsa?"

_I rest my case._

Oh god Meg, what are you doing… I wanted to hit her on the head with a shovel but I wasn't really worried, Elsa would never say yes anyway…

"Sure, I'd love to"

Wait what…

"Just let me grab my stuff and then we can go?"

This cannot be happening…

* * *

Sitting in the middle of Elsa and Meg during lunch was like watching a ping-pong match between China and China. They were playing a game of wits, clawing for dominance against each other with intellectual debates thickly smothered in sarcasm. I had a bad case of whiplash by the 15th minute of this "lovely" lunch. They were both really good at this silent competition though. They didn't attack each other head-on. It was subtle, clever, and way too much for me to take.

I made a comment about the weather, trying to remove at least a little bit of tension but it didn't work. They agreed with me, which took only about a second, and then they were back at each other's throats which left me a lot of time to think. And think I did. I know why Meg was being so bitchy. She was born that way. She can't really help herself. But Elsa…

This was strange behavior on her part. I mean yeah, she was a bitch to me before our little tryst happened, but back then she was just plain cold and frigid. This was something entirely different. It was like she couldn't stand Meg and wanted to bury Meg deep into the ground even though they had just met…? Again I found myself confounded.

The lunch hour was almost up. I was so grateful I started thanking Allah, Buddha, Jesus, and Lucifer. It was a miracle how neither Elsa nor Meg had jumped and physically attacked the other within the span of this excruciatingly long hour. Meg had a 5-minute journey on the subway to get through so she left first but not before she and Elsa gave each other a very firm handshake while exchanging formalities through gritted teeth. The tension, unfortunately, didn't leave with Meg. Elsa and I finished the last dregs of our coffee in silence.

* * *

"Your girlfriend has quite the spunk in her," said Elsa as we were walking back to the office, finally breaking the silence between us.

"Whoa…wait…my what?" I said stopping abruptly in my tracks.

She stopped along with me, raising a hand to block out the bright sunlight streaming in from behind me. "Your girlfriend…? Meg? The one we just had lunch with or have you already forgotten?"

Rolling my eyes at the unnecessary sarcasm, I retorted, "Yes, I know who Meg is thank you very much, but Meg isn't my girlfriend; she's my best friend and my roommate!"

"Oh, okay." A smile slowly played on her lips, it was the first genuine smile I had seen on her face all afternoon.

Realizing too late that a smile was evidently plastered on her face, Elsa swiveled around and started walking again, taking long strides as if to quickly get away from me. Her long legs made the job much easier on her; in a few paces she was already a few feet too far from me than I would have liked.

"Elsa, wait up!" I almost had to run to reach her, and having avoided the gym for a year now, I was panting by the time I finally caught up to her.

I grabbed Elsa by the crook of her arm and spun her round, and due to the minor height difference I had to crane my neck slightly to look her squarely in the eyes, "Is that why you were acting so strangely during lunch? Because you thought Meg was my girlfriend?"


	7. Elsa

Congratulations on your subtlety, Elsa. Really. Bravo. You nailed it perfectly.

"Acting strangely? I don't know what you're talking about," I said, pulling my arm away from Anna.

That would have been convincing if my knees weren't trembling and if I wasn't sweating bullets out of every pore on my body.

"Will you stop doing that?! Godddd, Elsa! It's getting really old!"

"And what is it I'm doing, Anna?" I managed to force out despite being in total shock from Anna's sudden outburst.

"That right there! Stop asking questions to throw me off and then leave me all disoriented while you happily skip away," she bellowed, making me feel about a good 10 inches tall.

Pointing a finger right betwixt my eyes, Anna went on, "You're avoiding something, Elsa, and you're not fooling me with that ice queen bullshit anymore! I mean if you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you, fine! But don't go acting all weirdly jealous one moment and then back to being as prickly as a frigging porcupine the next! Will you just be honest and stop pretending for once?"

My throat had gone dry. Anna's explosion of emotion left me speechless. I had never seen Anna even the slightest bit angry before and I felt like a horrible human being having sparked such a rage in her. She was right though. About everything. And that scared me immensely.

"It's not that simple, Anna" I croaked. My voice had turned so hoarse it was like I had eaten gravel for lunch.

"What isn't that simple, Elsa? Be honest with me! Help me understand! I just…I just want to understand," she said, her voice lowering toward the end.

Her blue-green eyes stared back at me beseechingly; searching…waiting for an answer. I knew I had to tell her the truth eventually, I owed her that much, but I couldn't bring myself to. I could feel people starting to look at us. My breathing increased rapidly. My chest was tightening. It was happening again. The feeling I had when that senior kissed me at the party was slowly creeping up on me.

"Anna, please, let's not do this…"

"You're avoiding things again!"

"No I'm not, Anna! Can you please just stop, people are watching!" The quiver in my voice was getting worse.

"Huh…?" Anna did a quick scan around us, "Elsa, no one's watching, there's hardly even anyone around. And even if they were watching, so what?" She shrugged, dismissing it so easily.

"…yes, they are! I can feel them staring at us!"

I shut my eyes which were brimming with tears. My knees buckled and I had to hold on to the wall to support myself.

"Oh god Elsa!" Anna cried.

I felt her arms wrapping around me, trying to keep me steady. I was doing all I could to keep control over my legs; I felt like a fawn taking her first steps. Anna hoisted me up, her arms wrapped tightly around my body and I buried my face in her neck, no longer able to hold back the tears.

"Make them stop looking, please" I begged through hapless sobs.

"Okay…alright, come on let's turn in here okay? Can you walk?"

I nodded, looking like a child being chastised. Anna led me into an alley just a few feet away from us and sat me down on some desolated looking steps. Anna sat next to me and pulled me in, resting my head against her chest. We sat like that in silence for several minutes with Anna softly stroking my back. My breathing was returning to normal and I didn't feel overwhelmed anymore. Now I was dreading the inevitable explanation I would have to give Anna about my "little" meltdown.

"I'm sorry about all this" I said, ending the long silence between us.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize! ...well okay maybe a little for scaring the crap out of me back there!" she said, her finger lifting my chin up to face her.

I snickered at that despite being thoroughly jaded from all the crying…and hyperventilating.

"It's not funny! I was worried that I would have had to call the ambulance…or give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation myself" she smirked.

"Oh and wouldn't you have liked that" I sat up, nudging her side with my elbow. Growing serious again, I reached out for her hand which was resting listlessly on her bent knee and intertwined our fingers, "Thank you, Anna."

"Why are you…thanking me?" she asked in genuine bewilderment, her thumb gently caressing my hand.

"Just…thank you for being here…and for not leaving me back there"

"Elsa…of course I wouldn't leave you, you silly girl!" she assured me, leaving a little peck on my forehead.

Silence engulfed us once more. Anna started shifting and I knew  _the_  question was burning at the back of her mind.

"You were right" I started.

"Elsa…you don't have to"

"I know. But I want to. I want you to know this…I  _need_  you to understand"

* * *

I had been best friends with Clara Brightman since we were in preschool, sandbox buddies and all that. We were inseparable and loved each other to the moon and back. But things changed drastically in the 6th grade…

We were in different classes for the first time in 7 years. For the first few weeks of school we had lunch together every day, but soon Clara had started getting closer to the "cool" girls from her class, and I, apparently, was not cool enough to hang out with them so from then on I ate lunch with the other "rejects" in the school. I would look at Clara from afar whispering little jokes and giggling with her new friends, and I would feel so lonely. I wanted my best friend back.

I started dropping a letter a day into Clara's locker. It was something we used to do back in elementary school- we would write at least one compliment about each other in a letter and then drop it into the respective lockers. I can't pinpoint the exact moment we stopped doing it but that doesn't really matter. I thought I would start the tradition again and Clara would simply follow suit and it would be just like old times. What did I know; I was a silly 11-year-old…

I had been dropping letters into Clara's locker for three weeks, that was 15 letters for every school day, but I had received not a single one in return. Each time I would wait by the pillar to see Clara open my letter, but all I would see was her looking at the envelope and then chucking it back in without even opening it. I felt a part of my heart dying for each day that happened but I was adamant on winning back her friendship that I hadn't even lost in the first place- it was stolen from me.

It was 5 minutes before gym class, I went to my locker to grab my gym clothes to change into and then it happened…

_SLAM_

I moved my hand just in time before it got caught between metal and metal. Susie Angermyer's chubby hands were on my locker door. I whipped my head around and saw her sneering at me, Clara and posse standing a step behind her.

"Hey Faggy! Stop dropping faggy letters into Clara's locker you hear me?!"

"The letters I give Clara are none of your business" I argued, quietly wondering what faggy even meant.

Susie had a crude older sister who was in high school so I assumed Susie had picked it up from her. And though I didn't know what it meant, the venomous way Susie spat it out was enough for me to know it was not a nice thing.

"What did you say to me you stupid dyke..?!" she shouted, grabbing me by my collar.

Dyke, must be another word she picked up from her nasty sister. And also the thing you should know about Susie Angermyer is that she was big for an 11-year-old. Both her parents stood like giants and she had obviously attained their tall genes. So when a girl almost twice my size grabbed me by the collar, I knew well enough to not say anything more. My feet were no longer fully touching the ground. I looked past Susie and Clara was just standing there; doing nothing to save me.

The other students had congregated around us; the commotion stopping most of them in their tracks.

"Listen you little fag! Stop being so obsessed with Clara, she doesn't want to be your  _girlfriend_ get it you worthless piece of shit!"

My eyes were fixed on Clara the whole time. The words Susie was hurling at me didn't hurt nearly as much as seeing Clara just standing there allowing this to happen.

"HAHA! Look at that the stupid dyke is crying!" And with that she threw me against the lockers, laughing maniacally as she did so.

As if it wasn't bad enough that I was sprawled on the ground, my back hurting from the impact of being hurtled into the metal lockers, Susie pointed at me and started chanting, "Dyke! Dyke! Dyke!" And naturally, like the old cliché of "monkey say, monkey do", everyone started doing the same as well.

* * *

"I begged my parents to transfer me to another school, and they did. From then on I changed completely. I mean I didn't even know what homosexuality was till I was 14, and I figured if that is how people are going to react about it, I'd go through hell and high-water to make sure they never find out. Heck, the kids did that when I wasn't even in love with Clara! She was my best friend and I wanted her back into my life but even that was enough for them to…" I sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of my nose to relieve the slight headache I was getting from reliving the memory.

"So do you see? I'm too afraid of people finding out the truth…I can't go through that again, Anna, I just can't…" I said, my voice trembling again.

"I-I don't really know what to say. That must've been one horrible, horrible experience and I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that. But Elsa, this time it won't be like that. You're not alone anymore; we'll face whatever comes together. I'm here, Elsa, and I'll always be here for as long as you want me to…"

Anna gently cupped my jaw and pulled me towards her slowly, as if allowing me to make a break for it if I wanted to, but instead I quickly closed the gap between us. I parted my lips for her, longing to taste her again. She slipped her tongue into my mouth causing a low moan to escape my throat. Oh how I've missed this. I buried my hands in her hair, drawing her in, wanting as little distance between us as possible. A warm tingling sensation ran through my spine, my heart was thumping hard against my chest, and in that moment I knew I was in trouble- I was falling in love with this girl, and I hadn't a damned clue whether I was ready for that or not.

* * *

We eventually decided it was time to head back to the office, I stood up ready to go, but Anna had a shoe malfunction and bent down to fix it. I was stretching my back which was rather stiff from sitting too long, then from the corner of my eye I saw some movement and turned my head around…but there was nothing there. Hmm, I must be so exhausted that I'm starting to see things…


End file.
